The elusive I

Is ‘I’ a pronoun, or the activity it carries out? It has two aspects: it is a spark of the divine fire (which feels like a ‘thing’) and a process of connecting with the world (which feels like an activity). Rather like light in the famous quantum experiment, which it is for us depends on how we look. Maybe there’s an inverse correlation, though. Like joy in Blake’s poem, the I will never be found as a thing; it can only be intuited as we let go of it.

One has to lose one’s earthly I if one is to perceive one’s true I. And without developing this surrender, one cannot approach this true I. One would like to say: the true I should not be sought if it is to appear and reveal itself; and it hides itself, if it is sought. For it is only found in love. And love is the surrender of one’s own being to the other being. For this reason the true I has to be found like a stranger. 
Rudolf Steiner, DIE MENSCHLICHE ERKENNTNISFÄHIGKEIT IN DER ÄTHERISCHEN WELT Dornach, 22. April 1923 untranslated  (Lit.: GA 084, S. 142)

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